I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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