quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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