So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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