i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
