that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
