I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
