You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
