I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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