Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
