Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just tell him i said nine months
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
