omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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