I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
