It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
