Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
