She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
