dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
