I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Randomize
