So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize