You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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