i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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