Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
its liver damage thursday
Randomize