you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
