last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
