Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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