yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize