Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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