maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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