We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
