I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
