We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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