you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
