You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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