I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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