so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
