My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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