My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
