i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Bring me that man meat
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
