she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize