I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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