happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
