My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize