Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
