brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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