Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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