I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
time to smoke my breakfast
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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