we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I die, sorry about rent.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
