PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize