I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
