Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
