break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
