just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He literally asked permission to hit on me
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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