Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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