I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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