the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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