U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
