I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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