we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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