I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
