the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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